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Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/2/2010 5:46:17 PM
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NightJay0044
Posts: 54
Joined: 5/17/2006
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Hi all, my girlfriend who is 24 still living at homeeverything, no liiscence, no car and part time working adn her parents have very strong catholic views and strong family views.
I'm 26 living on my own and have car full time job and all. Career going.
I am Christian and have faith but not like they do, which is complicated.
I really care about this girl. Already talked to her dad and basically what he said is he will not permit this relationship to happen. But She wants this to and she told her dad that she does we both talked to him but he still says no pretty much.
He says I'm causing family problems between all them because I'm trying to have a relationship with thier daughter.
What am I supposed to do in this kind of situation? I made the move to talk to her dad, but that didnt' work too well..Bottom line it's the fact of them accepting it.
Help please, thanks.
< Message edited by NightJay0044 -- 2/2/2010 5:53:47 PM >
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/2/2010 5:59:18 PM
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mec
Posts: 511
Joined: 7/6/2005
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Hmm, as dealing with my sister in a similar situation.
I would say keep the pursuit, this is a rare time when I do say this.
But you need to sit down with the father, make more attempts, talk to the mother.
But he also must know your intnetions with her. He might just be looking out for her. You have to poen up to the family.
Make the effort.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/2/2010 7:42:47 PM
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litfire2000
Posts: 706
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quote:
I am Christian and have faith but not like they do, which is complicated ...big red flag...could be one reason why the family does not accept you...I once wanted to date a girl whose family had strong Roman Catholic family views and even though I am Christian, it was just simply not going to happen; she submitted to her family's wishes and did not continue seeing me
quote:
Hi all, my girlfriend who is 24 still living at home everything, no liiscence, no car and part time working adn her parents have very strong catholic views and strong family views.
I'm 26 living on my own and have car full time job and all. Career going. ...she is living at home and being supported by her parents...under thier roof, under their rules a concept I have learned to agree with...it does sound as if the parents, especially the father, may be over protective
quote:
He says I'm causing family problems between all them because I'm trying to have a relationship with thier daughter ...one of the worst things you can do is create problems within a family...if this is the case, you and your girlfriend need to have a very honest and open discussion on the matter
Why don't the two of you slow down a little...take your time...discuss the things you have mentioned and those which you haven't mentioned as I'm sure there is more to this than you have posted...if you communicate openly and honestly and after a period of time you both would like the relationship to continue and to grow then continue the relationship
I also agree with mec...continue to approach her father and mother...respectfully...everyday conversation would be good; let them get to know you better...don't push too hard, that causes walls to go up.
Congratulations on having your career underway.
_____________________________
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/2/2010 7:55:02 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 2742
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
Already talked to her dad and basically what he said is he will not permit this relationship to happen.
Her mother was all over you before for whatever her reasons were. Now the father has made his decision, and you are not welcome in their family. For you to do an end-run around the parents would rip this girl's life apart - they have been her parents all her life and will be for the rest of her life. They will be the grandparents of her children, and the people she and her husband go to for help in times of trouble. Her life is tied up with them. For her sake if no other reason, I think you need to let this go and find a wife from a church you can join.
It would be very selfish of you to drive a wedge between her and her family. Bummer, I know.
Some Catholics think that only Catholics are Christians, so unless you're willing to convert (whole-heartedly) you look like a trap to their daughter's salvation. Big issue.
_____________________________
People died to give you the Bible in your language.
Read it. Eat it. Dwell in it. Rightly divide it. Live it.
Laugh, dance, praise your God, and go read some more. And God bless you.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/2/2010 9:07:28 PM
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psalm100
Posts: 954
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
Hi all, my girlfriend who is 24 still living at homeeverything, no liiscence, no car and part time working adn her parents have very strong catholic views and strong family views.
I'm 26 living on my own and have car full time job and all. Career going.
I am Christian and have faith but not like they do, which is complicated.
I really care about this girl. Already talked to her dad and basically what he said is he will not permit this relationship to happen. But She wants this to and she told her dad that she does we both talked to him but he still says no pretty much.
He says I'm causing family problems between all them because I'm trying to have a relationship with thier daughter.
What am I supposed to do in this kind of situation? I made the move to talk to her dad, but that didnt' work too well..Bottom line it's the fact of them accepting it.
Help please, thanks.
One would think that the girl's parents would allow her to make her own decisions as to who she should date. Since this young lady has no job and basically her parent's take care of her, it might be best to let her go. She basically has to do what her parent's tell her considering they are her caretakers. I know it maybe hard to let it go, but as it appears this relationship isn't going to work out.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/2/2010 10:28:15 PM
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KaptZ
Posts: 643
Joined: 10/28/2009
From: The swamps of Jersey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: psalm100
quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
Hi all, my girlfriend who is 24 still living at homeeverything, no liiscence, no car and part time working adn her parents have very strong catholic views and strong family views.
I'm 26 living on my own and have car full time job and all. Career going.
I am Christian and have faith but not like they do, which is complicated.
I really care about this girl. Already talked to her dad and basically what he said is he will not permit this relationship to happen. But She wants this to and she told her dad that she does we both talked to him but he still says no pretty much.
He says I'm causing family problems between all them because I'm trying to have a relationship with thier daughter.
What am I supposed to do in this kind of situation? I made the move to talk to her dad, but that didnt' work too well..Bottom line it's the fact of them accepting it.
Help please, thanks.
One would think that the girl's parents would allow her to make her own decisions as to who she should date. Since this young lady has no job and basically her parent's take care of her, it might be best to let her go. She basically has to do what her parent's tell her considering they are her caretakers. I know it maybe hard to let it go, but as it appears this relationship isn't going to work out.
I'd have to agree. The 'problem' is not her parents. The 'problem' is the girl herself.
Until she shows some real signs of independence I would cool your jets.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/2/2010 11:12:32 PM
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bolt.
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From: Canada
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This young woman is free to run her life as she sees fit. If she wants to relate to her parents in ways that involve their control of her dating life... that's her call. Let her solve this for herself. Be 'available and interested' but don't pressure or intrude.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 6:48:31 AM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1931
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As a lady who was married with 2 children at 24, I have to question why your girlfriend isnt either working full time or wanting to be independant at that age. Also why is she allowing her parents to rule her life at an age when she should be making her own decisions?.It seems that she is far too dependant on them.
It seems that her parents are wanting to control her life and they are doing a very god job so far.
Interferring and controlling parents can cause so much trouble, and if she isnt showing signs of waniting her own life away from them,I would see that as a big red flag. She needs to get a better paid job, look for a place to live and be independant, otherwise nothing will ever change.If she wont do that then I cant see how this relationship will ever work.
< Message edited by herestoresmysoul -- 2/3/2010 7:44:41 AM >
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 10:23:33 AM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 4013
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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If she is not willing to live independently, or if she *wants* her parents to direct her romantic life, either way it doesn't sound like she's a good match for you.
Pursuing her the way things stand now will lead to *tremendous* upset either way. If she's incapable of being an independant person, and you marry her, that's trouble. If she's capable but has convictions about "courting" or whatever with her father's approval, and you press her to break those convictions, that's trouble too.
What are her father's reasons for saying no? Is it a faith issue? Does he have a problem with the character you've demonstrated? If they have valid concerns, would they be willing to reconsider after seeing changes in you? Are you willing to "lay down your life" for this gal, even if it means admitting it if need to make changes and making them?
_____________________________
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 10:37:56 AM
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RichLP
Posts: 1022
Joined: 5/4/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
Hi all, my girlfriend who is 24 still living at homeeverything, no liiscence, no car and part time working adn her parents have very strong catholic views and strong family views.
I'm 26 living on my own and have car full time job and all. Career going.
I am Christian and have faith but not like they do, which is complicated.
I really care about this girl. Already talked to her dad and basically what he said is he will not permit this relationship to happen. But She wants this to and she told her dad that she does we both talked to him but he still says no pretty much.
He says I'm causing family problems between all them because I'm trying to have a relationship with thier daughter.
What am I supposed to do in this kind of situation? I made the move to talk to her dad, but that didnt' work too well..Bottom line it's the fact of them accepting it.
Help please, thanks.
NightJay0044,
The problem is twofold.
Her family disapproves of you and apparently because you are not Catholic - and, she as an adult lives at home.
I find it strange that a 24 year old person, at an age way past college graduation, doesn't even have a driver's license. A full-time job, I can understand given the economy. But based on what you wrote, she doesn't appear to be looking too hard to find full-time employment; i.e, she's not fighting to branch out on her own.
Now, I am aware that there are some cultures in the world where single adults live with their parents until marriage, even if they have full-time jobs, businesses, or careers. And if this woman is from an immigrant family, it may make sense. But if not, and however politically incorrect this may sound... if she's just an American girl... then it makes no sense.
As for religion, you're better off backing away. I am not Catholic but know some Catholics and the "diehard" ones are as defensive and protective of their beliefs as we born-again, biblical Christians are of ours. Sometimes, I think leading a serious Catholic to Christ is more difficult than leading an unchurched or irreligious person to Christ because of all they've been taught and of how those teachings get in the way of seeing the simplicity of the gospel.
Their parents made their decision: you're not welcome. And, sadly, she already made hers, by deferring to her parents' decision and by choosing not to be independent but rather, submissive and dependent on her parents.
It's not worth it. Not that SHE isn't worth it - but you'll just earn yourself frustration if you insist, and you may make the parents seriously dislike if not outright hate you.
Move on.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 12:51:05 PM
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NightJay0044
Posts: 54
Joined: 5/17/2006
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Hi, this is to everyone whom replied, thanks for the responses.
Religion:
yes I could see this getting in the way, yup definitely one reason why they probably don't acccept me is because of my faith.
her Independence:
Definitely something she has been thinking more about, but still bottom line she knows there's nothing she really can do much without the help of her parents which puts her in that vulnrable spot of not having any power over her life.
Final Thoughts
No she's not an immigrant but just an american white girl. Believe me this doesn't make sense either, it clouds my mind of how this would even work.
She has said to me many times how she wants it our choice and her choice not her parents. So but the fact still is here, her parents and her living at home.
But I don't want her to create strife between her and her family just because of me, and that's what it is too. You know I mean?
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 1:02:54 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 3188
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From: Music City, USA
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Well, I didn't get my drivers license till I was almost 25, so it's not unheard of. Unusual, yes. (I was soooo scared of driving! But not anymore! Whee!!!  )
So... maybe your gal is something of a late-bloomer. And that's OK.
But in the context of all this other stuff, yeah, you're right -- it's tougher to deal with... to be patient with her and encourage her (which would be what a great boyfriend would do -- and is what you'd love to do for her, I'm sure, if you've not already been cheering her on)... b/c of the influence of her parents.
Yeah, I definitely agree with the rest... that she's got some major growing to do. She may not have yet established what she really believes. Or maybe she has.
Either way, her being staunchly Catholic (now or always) and your being an Evangelical make for being unequally yoked... even though you are both technically Christians (we won't debate Catholicism here, as there are one-stop threads for that). That's enough right there, without all the other stuff about her currently stunted/stymied personal growth.
But... at least you have learned something from this experience... as much as it hurts. You've learned what you like in a dating companion, and you've learned that holding spiritual beliefs that are closer to being the same is a really important ingredient in a good match.
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Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 1:14:16 PM
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lithium_doll420
Posts: 62
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it's totally up to her, she needs to make a decision... there's nothing you can do.. and there's nothing her father can do, unless she lets him... even if it comes down to her having to choose between you or her family, it's still totally up to her, she's not a child...
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 1:54:43 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 2742
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
her Independence:
Definitely something she has been thinking more about, but still bottom line she knows there's nothing she really can do much without the help of her parents which puts her in that vulnrable spot of not having any power over her life.
Something to realize her is that her parents don't have a chain on her ankle; she's where she is because that is who she is. She's a person who lives at home, feels helpless to leave, and is fine with having parents who don't want her to leave. That's who she is; it's probably not going to change for the rest of her life.
You or I would have upped and gone, had this been your or my family. She's not like you.
Actually, my parents were like this, and I found another family to move in with and escaped when I was younger than she is. That's who I am, and I'm still like that.
This has been touched on, but needs to be said again: marriages between two disparate brands of religion tend to tear themselves apart. It's fine until the children come, and then it turns in to a perpetual battlefield.
She doesn't sound like the adventurous type who will aggressively examine various brands of Christianity and then pick one, no matter what her family says; she's passive and compliant. And Catholicism hangs on tight - how often have I heard people strongly say, "I was born a Catholic and I'll die a Catholic!!!" Unless you are willing to deeply examine Catholicism and convert wholeheartedly (and even then her parents may reject you), you could be walking into a buzzsaw. Buzzsaws make lousy marriages.
quote:
She has said to me many times how she wants it our choice and her choice not her parents. So but the fact still is here, her parents and her living at home.
She doesn't want it very bad, does she. She'd probably like a new Mercedes Benz, too, but she isn't getting a job and saving her money for one, either.
quote:
But I don't want her to create strife between her and her family
You already have.
It looks like the only way you can have her is to create more strife with her parents and put her in a situation she wasn't willing to go to herself.
You seem like a hard-working guy with a future and faith, and that's not enough for her parents or her. She'd like to dream about being with you but the price is too high for her to do anything but dream about. You're flesh and blood; you can't live on dreams. I'm sorry, Brother.
In your shoes, I'd go over there to talk to her (maybe on the porch?) and officially break it off. Tell her how much you like her, what a fine person you think she is, that obviously this isn't God's will, and it's breaking your heart and hers but it's time to end it. You'll always have a soft spot in your heart for her and will pray that God will bless her. Cry, look at her, pick yourself up and walk away for good. Make it a good ending.
_____________________________
People died to give you the Bible in your language.
Read it. Eat it. Dwell in it. Rightly divide it. Live it.
Laugh, dance, praise your God, and go read some more. And God bless you.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 2:06:53 PM
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RichLP
Posts: 1022
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All I will add is this.
This woman seems "content" living at home and doing what her parents say, at the age of 24.
As I said, it's a tough economy, and if she had returned home to rebuild her finances after being laid off, it's one thing. But it appears she lacks the proactivity and ambition to break off on her own. I know people like that. For example - a man I know who is almost 38 and still lives with his widowed mother (although in his defense much of his own money goes to support her and household expenses. He claims he would've moved out way back, but he's a bit lazy and likes the convenience of having his mother handle most household work... especially cooking and laundry - I always tease him about him not being able to cook).
And as for her family's Catholicism - don't EVEN go there. I dated two Catholics, and both were not devout, and frankly, it was the same as dating two people with no religious beliefs at all. (Although I've dated a Protestant who was far snottier and more selfish than either one of those Catholic women).
Back off, and learn from this. You need a woman who's both independent and who shares the same faith as you. Simple, but non-negotiable. Move on.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 3:23:16 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7664
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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In marriage, it is of vital importance that husband and wife agree on the basic foundational principles of their lives. Marriage is the joining of two lives into one. If a couple don't agree on the basics of how to live their lives, they are going to have all sorts of problems, which will only get worse once the children arrive and then it becomes serious and can cause a lot of damage to the children.
Her father is right. It would not be good for her or the family if your relationship became serious. It wouldn't be good for you either. Like Deermousie said, break it off gently and peacefully and move on.
_____________________________
Often times the battle is the worst right before a breakthrough. In order to get us to give up, the devil wants us to think we are losing, when in fact we need to fight on to victory.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 4:40:27 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
Hi, this is to everyone whom replied, thanks for the responses.
Religion:
yes I could see this getting in the way, yup definitely one reason why they probably don't acccept me is because of my faith.
her Independence:
Definitely something she has been thinking more about, but still bottom line she knows there's nothing she really can do much without the help of her parents which puts her in that vulnrable spot of not having any power over her life.
Final Thoughts
No she's not an immigrant but just an american white girl. Believe me this doesn't make sense either, it clouds my mind of how this would even work.
She has said to me many times how she wants it our choice and her choice not her parents. So but the fact still is here, her parents and her living at home.
But I don't want her to create strife between her and her family just because of me, and that's what it is too. You know I mean?
I dont understand this.Why is there nothings she can do about being more independant without her parents??? Adults of her age are leaving home all the time. They are working full time and living on their own. Why is this different for her?If she wont do it now, when will she?Maybe it is an excuse because she doesnt want to leave home, in which case that is a red flag.
All my kids had got jobs and left home by her age.I live in the UK where housing is much more expensive.
She is actually allowing herself to be controlled by her parents for whatever reason.She is making no effort to be independant or to make her own decisions, which she should be doing at her age.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 4:48:15 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7664
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
She is actually allowing herself to be controlled by her parents for whatever reason.She is making no effort to be independant or to make her own decisions, which she should be doing at her age.
This is correct.
She is using those things as excuses. If she truly wanted to be independent and to make all of her own decisions, she would.
_____________________________
Often times the battle is the worst right before a breakthrough. In order to get us to give up, the devil wants us to think we are losing, when in fact we need to fight on to victory.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 7:55:17 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 2742
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cynthia
quote:
ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
She is actually allowing herself to be controlled by her parents for whatever reason.She is making no effort to be independant or to make her own decisions, which she should be doing at her age.
This is correct.
She is using those things as excuses. If she truly wanted to be independent and to make all of her own decisions, she would.
I agree.
_____________________________
People died to give you the Bible in your language.
Read it. Eat it. Dwell in it. Rightly divide it. Live it.
Laugh, dance, praise your God, and go read some more. And God bless you.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/3/2010 9:05:33 PM
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georgerobbyjr
Posts: 74
Joined: 9/2/2006
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If she believes and wants to be with you I would say go for it. It depends on how strong your feelings are, how long you've been dating, etc. Pray for guidance and make your decision with her, you guys should be on the same page or else it'll be too difficult. Is she a christian or merely a catholic? Something else to consider, if she doesn't believe you shouldn't pursue things.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/4/2010 12:56:36 PM
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NightJay0044
Posts: 54
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
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To All~
Yup the majority say that it won't work out but then there are those few that say pursue it and it could .
The thing is, I don't think we are on the same page, and yes I agree with the last post, it would be too difficult if we're not on the same page.
It just seems like she wants to take this relationship really slow and we've been in this relationship for 8months now and i've known her for 11 years since high school. She still seems to want to take things slow and it's like how slow do you want me to go for crying out loud.
I'll eventually figure it out, it may just get to the point where we both say you know it's too tiring obviously we both don't want the same things.
But then I'll think well why on earth did we do this in the first place because we both probably knew that this was going to be like this.
But I'm not sure yet, I just need more time for it to see where it goes kind of thing and yeah i'll try to say a few prayers about it.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/4/2010 1:11:23 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 1234
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: online
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From what I read, her dad is correct - you and her aren't suitable
for marriage.
What he isn't saying speaks volumes... are you listening?
His 24 year old daughter isn't mature enough for marriage with you.
Look for a lady who is wife material in your own faith and is mature/responsible.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/4/2010 1:45:11 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/13/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jaimestarcross
From what I read, her dad is correct - you and her aren't suitable
for marriage.
What he isn't saying speaks volumes... are you listening?
His 24 year old daughter isn't mature enough for marriage with you.
Look for a lady who is wife material in your own faith and is mature/responsible.
Sadly though, it may well be their controlling bahaviour,and them not allowing her to make her own decisions, that has made her like that. I know a family like that where the mum (who is divorced)is over protective, controlling and manipulative and both sons are still at home aged 23 and 26 and seem to have no interest in ever leaving or being independant. One has been out of work for nearly 2 years and no one seems to care that he isnt trying very hard to get another job.
Sometimes parents want their children to stay at home and be dependant on them.They have their own selfish agendas. Its very sad.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/4/2010 7:43:33 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7664
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
But then I'll think well why on earth did we do this in the first place because we both probably knew that this was going to be like this.
Most romantic relationships do not start with any forethought. They start with emotion and “chemistry”. After many years of watching relationships come and go, I have come to the conclusion that people should have a plan and standards before getting into a relationship, so they can avoid the situation you are in and a myriad of other issues as well.
Looking for a spouse is serious business. Joining two lives into one requires each person in the couple to be able to completely submit one’s life to the other and make all major decisions together or it will be an unhappy union. No one wants to be miserable. No matter how attractive or nice a person is, if you don’t hold the same ideals, values and world view, you will not be able to get along happily. Find out what your foundational beliefs are and look for someone who shares all of them. Don’t give your heart away before having met that very basic criteria.
quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
But I'm not sure yet, I just need more time for it to see where it goes kind of thing and yeah i'll try to say a few prayers about it.
God is not a genie. He expects us to fully surrender our hearts and lives to Him for His direction. Answers to prayer come from a devoted relationship to the Lord. This gives us the ability to hear Him and respond to His voice. If you aren’t willing to put that kind of time and energy into it, I wouldn’t even bother, because you’re likely to feel like He isn’t listening. However, when you do surrender your life to the Lord and seek His direction for all of your life, you will gain eternal life and peace that surpasses all understanding.
_____________________________
Often times the battle is the worst right before a breakthrough. In order to get us to give up, the devil wants us to think we are losing, when in fact we need to fight on to victory.
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RE: Girlfriends parents won't accept me - 2/4/2010 8:08:16 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 2742
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cynthia
quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
But then I'll think well why on earth did we do this in the first place because we both probably knew that this was going to be like this.
Most romantic relationships do not start with any forethought. They start with emotion and “chemistry”. After many years of watching relationships come and go, I have come to the conclusion that people should have a plan and standards before getting into a relationship, so they can avoid the situation you are in and a myriad of other issues as well.
Looking for a spouse is serious business. Joining two lives into one requires each person in the couple to be able to completely submit one’s life to the other and make all major decisions together or it will be an unhappy union. No one wants to be miserable. No matter how attractive or nice a person is, if you don’t hold the same ideals, values and world view, you will not be able to get along happily. Find out what your foundational beliefs are and look for someone who shares all of them. Don’t give your heart away before having met that very basic criteria.
quote:
ORIGINAL: NightJay0044
But I'm not sure yet, I just need more time for it to see where it goes kind of thing and yeah i'll try to say a few prayers about it.
God is not a genie. He expects us to fully surrender our hearts and lives to Him for His direction. Answers to prayer come from a devoted relationship to the Lord. This gives us the ability to hear Him and respond to His voice. If you aren’t willing to put that kind of time and energy into it, I wouldn’t even bother, because you’re likely to feel like He isn’t listening. However, when you do surrender your life to the Lord and seek His direction for all of your life, you will gain eternal life and peace that surpasses all understanding.
This is so good. NightJay, you're being given excellent advice.
Who you marry is the second most important decision in a person's life (salvation is first), and to be fully surrendered to God means you won't give your heart away to someone who isn't lined up with your heart for God and life. There is a great match in your future, if you'll wait for it. 
_____________________________
People died to give you the Bible in your language.
Read it. Eat it. Dwell in it. Rightly divide it. Live it.
Laugh, dance, praise your God, and go read some more. And God bless you.
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